Step into the White Room and Leave That S#%^ Behind

Look it in the eye, embrace it, then abandon it

Wow, you landed on your feet,” a friend said recently regarding the abundance in my life despite a year dealing with an imploding marriage, Covid, employment drama, death, and housing insecurity. At times I don’t feel worthy of such contentment, but I remind myself that it’s a choice. A choice held up by a foundation of all the choices I’ve made in the past and the mystical organization of dreams I’ve thrown to the wind.

During a yoga class in early January 2020 while I lay on my mat breathing deep and loosening my stressed and achy joints, our young instructor suggested an intention for the evening that I’ve clung to all year:

“Imagine you are stepping into a white room. It’s bright and spotless and free of clutter. You get to come in but bring only what serves you. You can leave everything behind. What are you going to choose to bring with you, what will you walk away from?”

Today, a year later, I literally have a white room to step into. A few months ago my eighty-five-year-old dad announced “I don’t want to live alone anymore.” More importantly, he said, “Rocky (his dog) needs a fence and a yard and his buddy Willow (our adopted Covid puppy) to play with.” Within a few weeks both his house in…